


Back Alley

by whoops_ima_dannie



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Introspection, M/M, No Smut, Prostitution, dont worry theres no smut tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 22:19:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17109170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoops_ima_dannie/pseuds/whoops_ima_dannie
Summary: dan fails at being a hooker





	Back Alley

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhiskersandQuiff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiskersandQuiff/gifts).



> prompt: phil’s a med student and dan’s in college for some kind of English/history/art degree and one day he's like "my degree is gonna get me nowhere and im gonna have no money i have to marry rich time to go try to be sexy near the med buildings" and he runs into phil- preferably featuring a dan too awkward to actually get somebody’s attention so he literally runs into phil

**Dan's POV**

 

“How's your major coming along? I thought you would have dropped out by now.”

 

“Haha, very funny Adrian. Besides, why would I drop out when I’m this far into my credits?” Dan says into the phone.

 

“Dan, it's only your second year, you still have one more to go, a lot can happen in that time.”

 

“Mate first of all: you’re not mum so stop acting like her, second: you’re only 14- the only way you know what happens in uni is either from me or TV and third: I actually love creative writing, if you pick something you really like then it doesn't feel like work.”  

 

“Good thing I have like four years to think about it,” Adrian says sarcastically.

 

“Yeah, so far the only shitty thing about this is the fucking debt I’m collecting.”

 

“God knows mum and dad won’t be able to help you out with that, I'm not even sure you can make that back as an author.”

 

Dan pauses for a second, “what do you mean?”

 

“We all know it takes _forever_ to be an accomplished author, and I was curious and I looked it up, authors don't make that much money, most of the sales go to the publishers.”

 

“Well, what if I don't become an author? What if this is just a hobby I want to get better at?”

 

“Then what's your career path?”

 

“Probably stocking shelves at Tesco like every other person my age. Besides, I’d probably make more money that way anyway.”

 

“Damn Dan didn't see you as much of a capitalist,” Adrian says dryly.   


“That's what it takes, I guess,” Dan sighs. Despite the phone connection being somewhat better than shitty, Adrian can feel the emotion coming out of the phone.

 

“Is this really bothering you? Sorry, I didn't know it would upset you this much or whatever.”

 

“It's no big deal, I probably would find this out soon anyway.”

 

“Maybe you could teach other kids how to write? You’d get a nice paycheck from that, I assume.”

 

“Yeah, maybe. Why are you suddenly so invested in my life now anyway?”

 

Dan can tell Adrian feels a little hurt by the comment. Dan's tone isn’t that sharp but the words still dig deep. With such a big age gap between them, it’s really hard for Adrian to engage with his older brother. Being the younger one, he has idolized Dan from the beginning. That's what younger siblings do.

 

“I'm just trying to talk to you, Dan. It's not like we can relate to each other anyway.”

 

“You're right, you're right, sorry. It’s just weird I guess. It just feels like whenever we talk, it’s always about uni, like you're just trying to get information out of me.”

 

“...What information?”

 

“Just little things like about the experience, what classes are like, stuff like that. If your so worried about uni you have plenty of time to stress about it.”

 

“I didn't even know I was doing that,” Adrian replies defeatedly. “I thought it was just something for you to talk about.”

 

Dan feels a little bad about making his brother so upset. Little siblings are hard sometimes. He looks at the clock on his nightstand.

 

“I have to go now, I got class in a bit and I need to finish my homework,” Dan lies.

 

“Oh, okay.”

 

“You good?”

 

“Yeah, bye Dan.”

 

Dan says goodbye to him and hangs up. He sighs and throws his phone on the bed next to him. He’s really worried about how he will do financially, even though he's still in school. It's not like his parents can help him out, his family doesn't have much either. So how the fuck is he going to _not_ be homeless by the time he graduates? He weighs his options: get a barely-scraping-by job, become a prostitute, become a stripper, join a gang and start robbing banks or marry rich. He really doesn’t want to be getting shitty pay and dealing with annoying customers, and he’s too busy for a job anyway so that's off the table. Prostitute? Sounds okay, he likes sex, and he knows how to get in bed with people. But to make that his job? Doesn’t sound the best, he doesn’t want to wind up with 30 STDs and 10 different baby mamas, he can't pay child support! Stripping doesn’t sound that bad, but he doesn't even know where to start with that one. Male strip clubs are hard to come by. He's _way_ too much of a nerd to be in a gang and knowing him, he's going to be too difficult to be in a committed relationship with, even for a sugar daddy.

 

_Sounds like prostitute it is._

 

Dan goes over to his drawer and looks inside. _What does a prostitute even wear?_ He wants something he can pick up men and women in, but it's not like he has any lingerie. He considers just wearing a pair of his smallest and tightest underwear, but he might get arrested for almost-nudity. _Is that even a law? Knowing me, it probably would be._ He grabs a pair of tight shorts and one of his tank tops, puts them on and looks in the mirror. _I don't even look like a prostitute, I just look like a sad gay porn star._ It's not that he's trying to look like a twink, his fringe just gives him that effect. And there's no way in _hell_ he's changing his hair.

 

_Oh well, this will do._

 

**Phils POV**

 

“Jack, could you not be so loud next time?” Phil asks, rubbing his eyes and walking into the kitchen. He’s still in his PJs and pours himself a cup of coffee from the pot Jack made already. The sun shining in through the windows hurts his just-woken-up eyes.

 

“Mate I don't know what you mean,” Jack replies with a smirk on his face.

 

Phil sighs, “she left already? Has it even been 12 hours since you first saw her? At least you can be a decent man and give her some breakfast.”

 

“Phil first of all, it's well past morning, second off, it's not my fault they all leave in the middle of the night. I’m sure you would understand if you actually got some.”

 

“I'm sure I could give you a reason to why they all go as soon as possible. But what do you mean?” Phil asks, taking a sip of the coffee.

 

“Well if you were actually able to get laid, you would understand why its always so loud. You like it up the arse, yeah?”

 

Phil lightly shoves Jack in the arm. Of course the _one time_ Phil was actually able to sleep with someone, he walked in. Emphasis on _one_.

 

“What's your fascination with me having sex anyway? I feel like you care a little too much about me getting laid,” Phil replied smugly.

 

“I feel bad that you're not getting with anybody, you're my mate, we gotta look out for each other.”

 

“That's… weirdly deep.”  

 

“Whatever gets you in bed mate,” Jack replies, not even batting an eye. Phil takes a sip of his coffee and looks at the clock on the microwave.

 

“Oh shit, I got class!” Phil exclaims while setting his mug down and running out of the kitchen. He runs into his room and grabs his backpack. He gets the extra textbooks off of his desk and throws some sweatpants on. It doesn't matter what he's wearing when you're in med school, it's _guaranteed_ you are going to look like shit. He grabs his stuff and runs outside, almost dropping a few books in his arms. He waves down a taxi and gets in. Living on campus would be so much easier, but he's in nursing school, so he's not a “student” there. But it's nice having his own place although sometimes he wishes he lived alone. He's too big of an introvert to be alone so the company is nice. Even if it’s just one person it’s at least _someone_ he's interacting on a day to day basis.

 

The taxi pulls over and he pays the driver. He runs out of the car and on his way to the medical building. _Damn, I should probably exercise more, I shouldn't be this out of breath._ He checks his phone and he's got 10 more minutes to make it into the building. He won't be late to class, but still, it’s not the best either. He turns into an alley while still looking at his phone and runs directly into someone.

 

“Oh my god, I'm so sorry!” Phil apologizes while collecting the books that he dropped. He looks at the person that he’d bumped into, and he looks _fit_. Long brown hair styled into a fringe, a tank top that showed off his (skinny) arms, pretty tight shorts, and a sexy look on his face.

 

The young man gulps before he speaks, “you come around here often?” in a fake, sultry voice.  

 

“I'm- uh I'm heading to class.”

 

“I bet you're a real smart boy, aren't you?” He asks and backs Phil up until he hits the brick wall behind him. The man is trying his best to be confident and sexy, he seems, but Phil can tell he seems nervous. Like he doesn't want to be doing this. Like he's never done something like this before.

 

“Get off of me!” Phil pushes off of him and the man stumbles. He doesn't fall down, but he seems hurt like Phil smacked him emotionally.

 

“I'm sorry,” the man says, “I've just- I don't really know what I'm doing, I'm sorry for scaring you, you should probably get to class.” Phil thinks _hopes_ that he is being genuine. He doesn't seem like a psychopath, so that's a good start. He begins to push the rest of Phil's things towards him.

 

Phil gives him an apologetic look, “hey it’s alright, let me get you a coffee. Its freezing, it’s the middle of fall, I don't know how the hell you're wearing shorts and a tank top. You eaten anything today?”

 

He shakes his head no and chuckles, “thanks but forget about me, just get to class so you don't miss it.”

 

“I could get one with you in an hour then? That's when I get off, meet me at the campus Starbucks?”

 

The man smiles, “that seems nice.”

 

**Dan’s POV**

 

_Wow_

 

_Fuck_

 

_God damn it_

 

_I’m such an idiot_

 

_Why did I do that?_

 

_Did I come off like a pervert? I hope I didn’t. I like him, I bet he thinks I’m a piece of shit. I bet he’s not even going to show up. I bet he’s not even going to talk to me in fear that I’m going to do something horrible to him. Well, I would anyway._

 

As Dan walks back to his dorm, his mind goes in a different direction. _So is this a date or not? He looked like he was somewhat into me, although he might have been just a little freaked out. I should probably change anyway, I don’t want to get hypothermia or some shit._

 

He puts on a nice, cozy sweater and some skinny jeans that made his thighs look better than they actually do. _Maybe if I wore these and fuck him, he’d still pay me._

 

And how the hell is he supposed to bounce back from what happened? _Hey sorry, I tried insinuating that you wanted to pick up sex from me but I think you are nice and I was wondering you wanted to go on a second date._ It’s not easy to go from “scary perverted prostitute in an alley” to perfect boyfriend material in _one_ date. _Why would the man even offer to get me a coffee? Was he just being nice? Did he feel bad? Is he going to do this and still pay for something anyway? Does he want me to do it for free? Is he an undercover cop trying to arrest me for prostitution? Is prostitution even legal anyway?_

 

He sits on his bed, his head in his hands. He debates going or not. He figures it would be rude to stand up the man who offered a coffee to a creep in the middle of the day. He takes out his phone and looks at the time. He does one final look in mirror and heads to the coffee shop.

 

**Phils POV**

 

_I can't get him out of my head. I should be scared of him right? But I’m not, what’s wrong with me? I should have probably changed into something better, but I don’t have time. Shit. Will he care? It’s just sweatpants, it’s not the end of the world. I hope he doesn’t. I don’t want him to think I’m a slob. Why do I feel this way anyway? Was he trying to hurt me? I don’t think he was, but why I am being nice anyway? I probably just feel bad for him. Why do I feel bad for him?_

 

Phil walks out of the lecture hall with his backpack slung around his shoulder. He’s not in a rush _thank god_ , a part of him doesn’t want a repeat of what happened earlier. He doesn’t even realize that he’d walked into the Starbucks and had started looking around for the man. His eyes finally land on the brown fringe and he walks over to the tiny booth near the back of the cafe.

 

“Hey, I didn’t know what to get you so I just held a table,” the man explains, blushing. His voice is a little shaky, but there’s a small smile on the mans face telling him that he’s alright. He looks a bit smaller in the big sweater he’s wearing, but the jeans tell a different story. They make his legs look longer. Phils not complaining.

 

“It’s fine,” Phil replies, sitting down and putting his bag next to him, “I thought I was the one getting you the coffee anyway?”

 

“I felt bad that I did a shitty thing and that you asked me to let you buy me a coffee, it’s the least I can do.”

 

Phil smiles at him and gets out his wallet. “Anyway, what would you like?”

 

“Caramel macchiato please.” Phil nods and gets in line. Phil gives his order to the barista. He didn’t say what size so he just ordered him a medium. Or a grande. Or whatever the fucking size means. Phil’s waiting for both of the drinks when he sees the man digging through his jacket to get something. _Is it a knife? Please no, I need to get my exams done, then he can do whatever he wants to me. I’m not letting all my coursework go to waste._ The barista calls out his order and Phil takes it back to the table. Phil carefully hands the drink over to him and settles back in the booth.

 

The man opens his wallet and takes out a few pounds. “For the drink.”

 

“No, you shouldn’t have to pay. I offered you the date, it’s only right I pick it up.”

 

“So this is a date?” The man asks with a smirk.

 

“Well, it would be if you told me your name.”

 

The man rolls his eyes, “I’m Dan.”

 

“Phil.” Phil took a sip of his drink and looked into Dan's pretty brown eyes.

 

“So what were you doing in the alley anyway? Trying to shiv me or something?”

 

Dan rolled his eyes again. “So this is going to be weird but I was calling my brother and he told me how if I follow my major then I’m going to be broke for the rest of my life then I got scared and tried to become a hooker, long story short.” Dan doesn’t breathe once while confessing. He looks like he never wanted to say that out loud, but at the same time, he was going to explode if he didn’t.

 

“You tried getting me as a customer?”

 

“I’ve never done that before, I didn’t know how the fuck its supposed to work.”

 

“I can't wait to tell Jack this.”

 

“What? Who’s Jack?”

 

“Oh, um, he’s my roommate and he likes to joke about how I don’t get laid. When I tell him that a first-time prostitute tried hitting me up, he’s going to flip.”

 

“You’ve never had sex before, what are you? 23?”

 

Phil sighs, “24, actually, and I only did it once.”

 

Dan chuckles. Phil blushes, “can we talk about something else please? We’re in public.” He adds quickly.

 

“Fine, what’s a 24-year-old doing in uni anyway?”

 

“I’m in nursing school. What major is so bad it made a man want to become a prostitute?”

 

“Hey, you said you didn’t want to talk about this anymore, and you’re just bringing it up again. I’m in creative writing, I want to be an author, not a hooker.”

 

Phil nods and takes a sip of his coffee. “I’m guessing you don’t want to be a prostitute then?”

 

“Well, it’s just easy money. Unless _someone_ keeps buying me coffee, I guess I’ll just be homeless.” Phil laughs.

 

“I would love to buy you more coffees.”

 

“Really? Is that you being genuine or you using that for discounted sex?”

 

Phil laughs. “A little bit of both.”

 

Dan smiles at him. _Damn, he looks really cute. I think I like him._ They keep talking and laughing. They have a bunch of the same hobbies, which is good. You can never go wrong with some Mario Kart and Zelda. They lose track of time so badly that Dan accidentally misses a class. He doesn’t care. He’s having too much fun. They finally leave when the sun begins to set outside.

 

“Have we _really_ been talking for two hours?” Dan asks as they leave the cafe, “it doesn’t feel like it.”

 

“It really went by quick,” Phil replies. They walk in silence for a bit, enjoying each others presence. Before they even know it. Dan's trying to get the keys unlocked to his apartment.

 

“I really had fun,” Dan says while opening his door. “I would love to see you again.”

 

“Me too, would you like my phone number?”

 

“Wow so formal,” Dan adds sarcastically, handing Phil his phone. Phil quickly types it in and hands it back to him.

 

“I’ll text you later Phil.” Dan walks up to him and gives him a quick peck on the cheek.

 

“I’ll text you too. Bye, Dan.”

 

“Bye Phil.”

 


End file.
